I typically love January 1st because it is the time of the year for setting resolutions and goals. January feels like a clean slate to me and like anything is possible, as long as I set a goal and make a plan to tackle it head on. However, this year I am approaching things a little differently then I have in years past.
I recently read the Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte and fell in love with the concept of setting goals around your core desired feelings. It suggests that whenever we are setting a goal, we are really just trying to create a feeling. For example, if we set a goal to lose ten pounds this year, ultimately we are saying we want to feel better, have more energy, feel good in our clothes etc. This concept really resonates with me because it allows me to feel more in control and admittedly, I am a control freak.
I completed the workbook in the back of the Desire Map and determined my four core desired feelings for 2016, which I can change at anytime, are 1) love 2) joyful, 3) femininity, and 4) centered/grounded. I chose the word love because to me I want to feel in love, you know how you feel when you first start dating someone. I have been married for over 10 years now and had a baby eight months ago. It is easy to get caught up with the demands of daily life and not keep the romance alive. I don’t want that to ever happen to us. Just to clarify, I have a wonderful relationship with my husband, but there is always room to make it better. Also, I want to give love and by that I mean I want others to feel loved when they are around me. It might be something as simple as giving someone a hug or supporting a friend. Lastly, I want to work on loving myself. I, like many women, have a hard time seeing my own beauty and often struggle with body acceptance. My husband told me he wanted me to work on seeing myself the way he sees me. He loves me for me and the way I look. He even notices the small things, like if I wear a different color eye liner. So this year I commit to learning self acceptance. This is so important to me because I want to raise a daughter who has self-confidence and not afraid of the world. I want her to do great things and follow whatever her passions may be. I have to be her role model though because I believe in leading by example. It will be challenging, but my love for her is so strong that I am willing to put in the work.
Joyful is really my underlying desired feeling. I want to feel more joy in all aspects of my life and be present for those moments. So instead of just having a goal to run another half marathon. My goal is to enjoy my runs and not worry about my pace. Let them be meditative and time for me to think. This goes along with my other desired feeling of centered. When I am present and not distracted by my phone, Facebook etc, then I feel centered. Yoga really helps me to be grounded so this year I will focus on my yoga practice. I plan to take a workshop every month, as well as take as many classes as I can a week.
My last desired feeling is femininity. I chose this one because often I feel frumpy or ugly or out of style and I don’t want to feel that way. I want to feel pretty, confident, and stylish. Focusing on my femininity will also help with increasing self confidence and body acceptance. Something so simple as painting my nails or putting on some lip gloss can help me feel attractive, which creates a snowball affect. When I look good, then I feel good, which makes me want to go out to do things, be more social, and be more confident in things, like public speaking, or work.
So this year I may not have specific goals, like lose 10 pounds, but by following my core desired feelings I will naturally do more yoga, enjoy exercise, go on more dates with my husband, be kind to myself, but most importantly be happy with where I am with life. I think it will be a great year and one I am really looking forward to seeing what it brings.
Please feel free to share your core desired feelings for 2016. I would love to hear about them and how they changed your goals for the year. Be sure to check the Real Foodie Friends podcast on Monday. Erin and I discuss our core desired feelings, goals and resolutions. We are biased, but it is definitely our best episode yet!
~Eat well, be well